Alllright first of all Im wishing everyone a Happy and Fabulous 2011 (even if noone reads this, I still wish it, feels good to do it!).
Second of all... here come the Resolutions:
I am not gonna ramble about all the things everyone HAS to do.. I have things that I HAVE to do too, that have been waiting forever because I didnt FEEL like doing them so I kept finding excuses like... no time, no mood, no this, no that.. to hell with those, if they waited so long they can still wait probably..
The only resolution that is WORTH workin my butt off for, is this one:
DO THE THINGS THAT YOU LIKE! DO WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD AND DO IT MORE OFTEN!
I am known for being a complete workahoolic, I set myself goals and if I don't achieve them I become crazy, I work way too much, I put the things that I like aside, I put my friends aside at times, even my hubby!
I won't be getting into details but I think that WAS (and I say WAS hoping I am right...) was a problem of confidence, of self esteem, whatever that was, I think I was feeling worthy only when achieving things, making more money, to show people that I am good! BUT! Since the miracle happened and I managed to get rid of the fear, and got pregnant... now I feel I am WORTH it, even without doing much else! Oh of course that my Aries nature makes me still wanna fight and be better than most people I know, at everything... but I feel I can FINALLY relax and just be happy with who I am, not only with what I do! So heck yeah, its time to do what I like, time to do things that make ME feel good in a non-massochistic way! lol
So, this blog being one of them, I will start writting in it, even if I will have to do it while working! Taking 5 mins off at a time and typing something here or even neglecting my work for it! To hell with the work! I need money more than ever now, that I have the baby on the way, but I feel that money will not make me happy anyways and after all, if you are smart, you can do many things with less money too. After all, I grew up in a communist country! haha! I should have the skills for living with little means!
This being said, I shall post this and then start gathering ideas! Actually I have TOO many ideas, all I need is to put them in some order!
Let's rock!
oxoxox
Roxana
Showing posts with label encouragement. Show all posts
Showing posts with label encouragement. Show all posts
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Thursday, August 19, 2010
First post! Thinking about age...
So this is my first blog post! Hmm What should I talk about? I am not very good at finding topics but once I found one, I can talk about it forever... well not forever but untill everyone, including myself, falls asleep.
I guess I shall talk about age this time. I am 31. I feel 17. What the heck? Is this normal? Truth is, after I hit 30, I started feeling alot better about myself, about the way I look and about who I am! I was a mess all my life before, lack of self confidence and at times even of self esteem, I guess! Whatta shame! Even now, I have times when I feel that I don't really deserve being loved just because I exist, but I must do THINGS to earn that love and respect. Of course, everyone should do good things to earn the respect of people, but at times is good to just lay back and relax and know that you are loved just for being yourself.
I remember my mom telling me that before 30, you have times when you feel old, when you hate yourself and your looks... but after 30, that's when a woman starts feeling really young. I am not sure that I feel younger than I used to, but I definitely feel okay. I hate that I can see some fine lines on my face already, but at the same time, I have to fight with my stupid cystic acne, that I could never really get rid of, except for the time I've been taking bc pills. I stopped that and the acne came back. Darn it! Anyways, I try using that to my advantage. Who in the world would think that a chick with pimples on her face could be actually 31 years old? Hee hee. My hubby says I shouldn't mind the pimples as they make me look like a teenager. Well... can't say I wanna look like a teenager WITH acne but looking like a teenager is a good thing! lol
This summer I read a book, by Sophie Kinsella, called *the Ghost Girl* or something like that, and there was this character that was the ghost of a 90-something years old woman, that was saying that she all her life felt like a 23 years old girl, and she was also saying that noone is really changing over the years, every person is ON THE INSIDE as they were when they actually started to realise who they were .. that happens for some earlier, for some later. For me I guess it happened when I was 25 or so. Untill then I was living in dreamland, walking on clouds and who knows what I was eating as well... probably not even looking at what I was putting in my mouth, that would explain the colon issues Im having now...
So I guess we shouldnt look at older people like... man, they are old, they can't understand us ... or to feel them so far from us because of the age.. because after all, every person is the person they used to be when they looked younger too. I remember that when I was about 14... I was thinking that when I will be 21 (in 2000) I would be sooooo mature, probably married AND with babies! LOL. How wrong I was. When I was 21 I was a child, still. Even if I would have been married AND with babies, I would have still been a child. As I said, it depends, for everyone, when they become mature, but my point is that you don't become ALL that different, with the age. Your inner self only gets wiser, eventually. But not older. Only the body gets older, that's why you should take great care of it, so you don't feel depressed feeling young and looking old! :)
That was my rambling for today... as first posting in this blog. I will add an Outfit of the day pic, and I will buzz off :)
Kiss kiss,
Roxana
PS: I will upload some makeup videos on YouTube, I hope I can do something interesting, I really wanna have a useful channel there, for whoever wants to watch!
I guess I shall talk about age this time. I am 31. I feel 17. What the heck? Is this normal? Truth is, after I hit 30, I started feeling alot better about myself, about the way I look and about who I am! I was a mess all my life before, lack of self confidence and at times even of self esteem, I guess! Whatta shame! Even now, I have times when I feel that I don't really deserve being loved just because I exist, but I must do THINGS to earn that love and respect. Of course, everyone should do good things to earn the respect of people, but at times is good to just lay back and relax and know that you are loved just for being yourself.
I remember my mom telling me that before 30, you have times when you feel old, when you hate yourself and your looks... but after 30, that's when a woman starts feeling really young. I am not sure that I feel younger than I used to, but I definitely feel okay. I hate that I can see some fine lines on my face already, but at the same time, I have to fight with my stupid cystic acne, that I could never really get rid of, except for the time I've been taking bc pills. I stopped that and the acne came back. Darn it! Anyways, I try using that to my advantage. Who in the world would think that a chick with pimples on her face could be actually 31 years old? Hee hee. My hubby says I shouldn't mind the pimples as they make me look like a teenager. Well... can't say I wanna look like a teenager WITH acne but looking like a teenager is a good thing! lol
This summer I read a book, by Sophie Kinsella, called *the Ghost Girl* or something like that, and there was this character that was the ghost of a 90-something years old woman, that was saying that she all her life felt like a 23 years old girl, and she was also saying that noone is really changing over the years, every person is ON THE INSIDE as they were when they actually started to realise who they were .. that happens for some earlier, for some later. For me I guess it happened when I was 25 or so. Untill then I was living in dreamland, walking on clouds and who knows what I was eating as well... probably not even looking at what I was putting in my mouth, that would explain the colon issues Im having now...
So I guess we shouldnt look at older people like... man, they are old, they can't understand us ... or to feel them so far from us because of the age.. because after all, every person is the person they used to be when they looked younger too. I remember that when I was about 14... I was thinking that when I will be 21 (in 2000) I would be sooooo mature, probably married AND with babies! LOL. How wrong I was. When I was 21 I was a child, still. Even if I would have been married AND with babies, I would have still been a child. As I said, it depends, for everyone, when they become mature, but my point is that you don't become ALL that different, with the age. Your inner self only gets wiser, eventually. But not older. Only the body gets older, that's why you should take great care of it, so you don't feel depressed feeling young and looking old! :)
That was my rambling for today... as first posting in this blog. I will add an Outfit of the day pic, and I will buzz off :)
Kiss kiss,
Roxana
dress: New Yorker (I think!)
belt: Zara
Shoes: Deichmann
Bag: C&A
Sunnies and necklace: Bijou Brigitte
PS: I will upload some makeup videos on YouTube, I hope I can do something interesting, I really wanna have a useful channel there, for whoever wants to watch!
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